Don't Trust the Twins
by l0stinl0ve
Summary: For Draco and Hermione's first Christmas as a married couple, he embraces the tradition of decorating the tree themselves, just as the twins suggested. Warnings: Implicit Sex Scenes, Light Bondage. Written for mini-fest on LJ.


**Title:** Don't Trust the Twins  
**Pairing(s):** Draco/Hermione  
**Prompt:** "Decorations-Gone-Wild. They have developed a mind of their own, and they are surprisingly pervy."  
**Word Count/:** 1300  
**Rating: **R  
**Contains:** Implicit Sex Scenes, Bondage  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
**Notes:** This was lots of fun and thank you t highstakes_ww nd everyone in it for helping me with the idea and just getting me to write it so quickly. thank you to my lovely beta tygermine because you are always awesome and you need to get your power back, asap. marianna_merlo, I loved your prompt so I had to take it, even if I knew you would never read this.  
**Summary:** For Draco and Hermione's first Christmas as a married couple, he embraces the tradition of decorating the tree themselves, just as the twins suggested

* * *

Hermione was ready to hit her husband. How he could fall for such a thing, she didn't understand. Part of the reason she loved him was because he was almost as intelligent as she. Yet, here they were, crouched behind a couch. All because he was an idiot.

"Okay, explain again why we are in this situation?" she seethed, peeking her head over the back of the couch only to quickly duck down again. A green bulb flew just over her hair and exploded into mist just a bit aways from there. She quickly covered her nose and mouth with her thick sleeves and glared at her husband.

"The twins said that it was a good idea," he started only to backtrack when he could tell his short marriage would end in his death. "They said that it was a Muggle thing. To decorate the trees yourself, instead of getting the House-elves to do it. And I thought you would like that." He said in one breath, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

She would kiss him for thinking something so sweet. It was true, she would have liked that. Had he gotten normal decorations, that is. Instead, he got the destructive atrocities that were currently making her living room a war-zone. "And you thought these decorations would suffice?"

"I didn't know. The twins had them and said they were full of the holiday spirit. Brand new and what not," he shook his head. Draco knew he was an idiot. "I didn't really think beyond the making you happy part.”

"Okay, we'll talk about how you shoul _never_rust the twins about anything after we fix this." Hermione rolled her eyes. She had to remind herself that he was a smart bloke in all matters except those involving her. He had admitted to the fact when he spoke his vows, and she would just have to remember he wasn't joking.

He nodded his head and pulled out his wand, checking the damage from the side of the couch. He cringed as he heard a crash.

"What was that?" his wife asked from behind him.

"You don't want to know," he replied. She really wouldn't. The pixies managed to topple the tree over, and the presents under it were all smashed and crumpled. He was going to have to pay for this, he knew. And after his wife dealt with him, he was more than happy to hunt down the twins and bring them to experience the wrath of Hermione Granger-Malfoy. She was devious before, but once the Malfoy was added to her name, that deviousness became ruthless.

He shuddered in excitement. Yes, he was afraid of her. And that was part of why he loved her. He could take it though, and after she dealt with the twins, he'd be happy to ravish her. She knew it turned him on to see her so fierce. He liked to believe she was that way because she wanted to turn him on.

But he knew better. You just simply did not get in the way of her. And other than this mishap, he had been fairly good at being on her side - since after the war, that is - in everything

Another crash, and his wife pushed him down onto the floor. She crawled above him, straddling his back, and peaked over and had to throw her hand over her mouth to hold back the scream.

"My tree!" she snapped. Draco grunted when her fist fell on his shoulder. "My tree, my tree," she cried, punching Draco's shoulder.

He hoped that this was his punishment, and he wouldn't have to worry about any other retribution. He could take punches, he didn't want revenge.

"Witch! We have other things to worry about," he howled after a particular hard hit.

She wiped away her tears - her first tree as a married woman was destroyed - and squared her shoulders. He was right.

"_Petrificus Totalus_" she shouted, jumping from their hiding spot with her wand pointed at one of the flying pixies.

Draco marvelled at her form. She was a beast. By the time he got up and cursed one pixie, she had already full body-binded the other five.

"You do know, Fred and George once used a petrified garden gnome as an Angel, right?" She mused as she kicked one of the wayward pixies. She believed in Creature rights, but pixies were just ghastly.

"No," Draco replied.

"Oh yes, and really, don't you remember second year?" She continued to say, taking account of the damage done. All the gifts looked irreparable. The tree was broken into pieces and green needles were scattered across the living room floor

"No, if you don't recall, I was a coward back then and had left the room just after Lockhart." He said, kicking at the other pixies. His wife had kicked one, so he figured he could get away with the cruel gesture to the creature.

"Don't kick them," she chided. "You should have been able to tell that these were pixies. Then we wouldn't have been in this mess."

"I don't know. We still have the bulbs to worry about. Even if we didn't have pixies flying around." He shook his head. Those twins were evil scheming bastards. How they were sorted into Gryffindor, he would never know. "Most of them are shattered so we shouldn't worry. But the few that remain. They emit some sort of mist."

"Hmm," she picked one of the few remaining bulbs and threw it at Draco's feet. Before he could shout at her, he breathed in the red mist.

_"Jingle bells... Jingle bells..."_e sang. Draco threw his hands over his mouth, but couldn't keep the words from coming out of his mouth. He glared at his wife while holding back the tune.

Hermione fell to the floor laughing. Leave it to the twins to come up with such a useless but hilarious prank. She had to crawl to pull herself back up and another bulb shattered, a green mist surrounding her nose before she could do anything.

_"Deck the halls with bows of holly,"_he blurted out.

Draco, having just finished his song fell backwards onto the couch laughing at his wife. Served her right.

_"Fa la la la la, la la la la,"_he continued to sing.

Once she was done singing, she carefully made her way to the couch and slouched down next to her husband. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she rested her head in the crook of his neck.

"What else did you get from the twins?" she asked after several moments.

"Oh? Just some garland," he said, pushing himself off the couch to retrieve it.

"Be careful," she warned, watching her husband sashay to the opposite side of the room.

"It's just garland," he started, until the white plastic wrapped itself around his arms, tightening so that he couldn't pull it off.

"Told you so," Hermione rolled her eyes. She got up and walked over to him and poked at the garland, quickly withdrawing her hand before it could tie her up too.

"Are you going to help me?" He rasped, the garland was tightening around his chest, making it difficult to breathe.

"Sort of," she said, petrifying the garland so it could no longer move.

"Sort of?" he croaked.

"Yes, I figured I might as well punish you while you're all tied up," she mused, pushing him back until he fell onto a chair.

"Punish?"

"Yes, punish," she purred, straddling his hips.

Draco opted not to say anything. If she considered this a punishment, he wouldn't complain. Overall, their first Christmas together was memorable, and he was sure that was all that mattered.

* * *

_So, here's another lovely update for you. A one-shot - they're easy to write, so sue me. I have a multi-chap fic coming up, but I'm saving that for after the other one-shots are posted. Again, if you opt into favouriting this, please leave a review. Either way, thank you for taking the time to read this._


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